Parenting is one of the most profound journeys we’ll ever take. It’s filled with challenges, uncertainties, joy, and immense responsibility. Brené Brown, renowned researcher and author known for her work on vulnerability, courage, and empathy, created the Parenting Manifesto as a guide to raise children who live and love with their whole hearts.
In this article, we explore the Brené Brown Parenting Manifesto—what it is, what each part means, and how it can help you become a more mindful and connected parent.
What Is the Brené Brown Parenting Manifesto?
The Parenting Manifesto is a declaration of intention—a heartfelt promise to our children that we will raise them with empathy, courage, and love. It’s not about being perfect parents. Instead, it’s about showing up with authenticity, setting boundaries with compassion, and leading by example.
This manifesto was first introduced in her book Daring Greatly, and it quickly resonated with parents around the world who were seeking a more conscious and connected way to raise their kids.
Full Text of the Brené Brown Parenting Manifesto
The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto
Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable.
You will learn this from my words and actions—the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.
You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability.
We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other.
We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance.
Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.
I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.
When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.
Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create.
We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other—no matter what.
You will always belong here.
As you begin your wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you.
Truly, deeply, seeing you.
Key Lessons from the Parenting Manifesto
Let’s break down some of the key takeaways from Brené Brown’s parenting approach:
1. Love Is Modeled, Not Just Spoken
Children learn love not just from being told they are loved, but by witnessing love in action. How we treat ourselves and others teaches them what love looks like.
2. Vulnerability Is Strength
In a world that often values toughness, Brené teaches that vulnerability is the root of connection, creativity, and courage. Allowing our children to express emotions and struggles builds emotional intelligence and trust.
3. Imperfect Parenting Is Real Parenting
You don’t have to be perfect—you just need to be present and authentic. Showing your flaws and making amends when you mess up is more powerful than pretending to be faultless.
4. Boundaries Build Respect
Setting and respecting healthy boundaries teaches kids about safety, respect, and self-worth. It also models how to advocate for their own needs later in life.
5. Gratitude and Joy Are Daily Practices
Gratitude isn’t a one-time act—it’s a mindset. When we practice gratitude with our kids, we help them cultivate a sense of joy and resilience even in difficult times.
Why the Manifesto Matters in Today’s World
In a society dominated by comparison, social media pressures, and unrealistic standards, the Parenting Manifesto reminds us of what truly matters:
-
Connection over performance
-
Authenticity over perfection
-
Presence over productivity
It invites us to slow down, be human, and embrace parenting as a relationship—not a checklist.
How to Use the Brené Brown Parenting Manifesto in Your Life
Here are a few ways to integrate the manifesto into your family:
-
Print It and Post It: Keep it somewhere visible—like your fridge or child’s room—as a daily reminder of your intentions.
-
Read It Together: Discuss it with your children (in age-appropriate language). Let them know your values and the kind of home you strive to create.
-
Reflect Regularly: Use it during self-reflection or journaling. Are you living up to these values? Where can you grow?
-
Share with Others: It can be a powerful discussion point in parenting groups, therapy, or with your co-parent.
Final Thoughts
Brené Brown’s Parenting Manifesto isn’t a set of rigid rules—it’s a compassionate, courageous compass for raising children who know they are enough just as they are.
By embracing this philosophy, we not only empower our children to live wholeheartedly, but we also give ourselves permission to parent from a place of grace, empathy, and real connection.
FAQs
What book is the Brené Brown Parenting Manifesto from?
It is featured in her bestselling book Daring Greatly.
Is the Parenting Manifesto only for mothers?
No, it’s for all caregivers—fathers, mothers, grandparents, guardians—anyone raising a child.
Can I modify the manifesto to fit my family’s values?
Yes, the manifesto can be personalized. Its core ideas are meant to inspire, not prescribe.
Where can I download a printable version?
Brené Brown’s official website often features free downloads, or you can create a visual version for your home using quotes from the manifesto.
What does Brené Brown say about parenting?
Brené Brown emphasizes that who we are as people matters more than what we know about parenting. She believes that the most powerful thing we can offer our children is authenticity, emotional awareness, and vulnerability. Her core parenting advice includes:
- Modeling self-compassion and resilience.
- Avoiding shame-based discipline and focusing on empathy.
- Creating a safe space where children feel seen, heard, and valued.
- Living our values rather than just teaching them.
What are the principles of Brené Brown?
Brené Brown’s work is based on extensive research into vulnerability, shame, empathy, and courage. Her key principles include:
- Vulnerability is not weakness—it’s the source of creativity, connection, and courage.
- Shame thrives in secrecy—talking about it reduces its power.
- Empathy builds connection—being present and listening deeply is more valuable than fixing.
- Courage is contagious—daring greatly encourages others to do the same.
- Wholehearted living—engaging with the world from a place of worthiness, grounded in love and belonging.
These principles guide not just parenting, but how we lead, love, and live.
Did Brené Brown have a breakdown?
Yes, Brené Brown openly talks about having a spiritual breakdown—which she later calls a spiritual awakening—after her research into vulnerability revealed that she wasn’t living according to the very values she discovered.
This moment is detailed in her TED Talk and in her book The Gifts of Imperfection. She describes how the realization that vulnerability is essential to a meaningful life deeply challenged her perfectionist mindset and led to a transformational journey toward wholehearted living.
How to write a family manifesto?
Writing a family manifesto is a meaningful way to clarify and commit to your family’s core values, goals, and principles. Here’s how to create one:
Step-by-Step Guide to Writing a Family Manifesto:
- Gather as a Family: Involve everyone in the process so it reflects shared values.
- Identify Core Values: Discuss what matters most—love, respect, honesty, play, learning, etc.
- Reflect on Your Vision: What kind of family do you want to be? How do you handle conflict, celebrate wins, or support each other?
- Write from the Heart: Use inclusive language like “We believe…” or “In our family, we value…”
- Keep It Short and Meaningful: Aim for clarity and simplicity. It doesn’t have to be long to be powerful.
- Display and Revisit It: Post your manifesto in your home and review it regularly as your family evolves.
Example:
“In our family, we speak with kindness, love with intention, forgive freely, and always try again. We show up for one another. We laugh often, say thank you, and never give up.”
